After a rather colourful discussion with a couple of yummy mummys this afternoon, I started thinking about the relationship between swear words and young children. Throughout my early years on this planet the only curse that was ever uttered in my presence was "oh bloody hell." This happened on about two occasions, which I can imagine being quite drastic (house burning down, accidentally chopping arm off with chainsaw?). This has, I suppose, affected my own use of the swear word vocabulary to either;
A) Immense pain
B) Getting my opinion about Bono across in the most sufficient way
C) Drinking too much.
So why do we have curse words, and when should we use them? If you asked me this when I was a mere fifteen year old know-it-all I would have said; "who cares? It's just a word, just a sound that people make when they communicate with eachother... now eff off and leave me to bask in my own aura."
Ok, so it is 'just a word.' But the whole point of words is the representation behind them, the connotations, what is symbolized. If words had no meaning surely they would just be a series of squiggles on a page? It's all about what your intentions are when using these words...
For example, one of those yummy mummys I mentioned earlier has a four year old son. When trying to say the word 'ketchup' it would come out as 'fuck fuck.' He could never understand, when requesting a preferable sauce for his burger, why all the adults fell to the floor in a state of shock. However, if he meant it in the most innocent way it doesn't count as a swear word does it? (Like my son trying to pronounce the word 'cork' but instead saying 'cock.')
I was never so incensed by the whole 'children swearing' concept until a few years ago, when I heard a very young boy (five years old maybe) say the 'c' word. It's funny but I can't even bring myself to type it, as though my mother will burst through the monitor and waggle her finger at me... On hearing this boy's flippant use of such a taboo word I reacted quite strongly (maybe duct taping his mouth shut took it a little too far) and had to get my son out of that environment immediately, all the while thinking "Oh crap, I'm turning into my mum."
I sat and I thought about my reaction, and how I would feel had my son said that word. He has said a few 'naughty words' before, like when eating soup at the age of three and dribbling it down his t-shirt, he looked at me and said "oh buggers." Or when our blanket was blown away at a very civilised picnic with our extended family, he shook his head and muttered under his breath "that bloody wind." We were 'shocked' but under the looks of disapproval there was a hint of amusement.
I suppose it is fractionally down to my upbringing (old fashioned, seen and not heard or feel my slipper type of thing), but there is also some tangible aspect in my view of a child swearing. Swear words certainly have their warranted space in the world of language, as maybe a vocal outlet for unfathomable pain or simple pissed-off-ness. I have no objection to hearing an adult turn the air blue, or myself, but a child??? I feel like a child shouldn't understand what these words symbolize, such as pain, sexual definitions and immense frustration, therefore they have no need to know or to use them.
Kids are suckers for imitating adults, which is a slight downside on my part as I am quite a bad role model. (Many a time when the 'shit' word has slipped out I have to blunder my way through an explanation about how much ships irritate me). I'm not one to try and soundproof my son to the profanities that exist, but as long as he doesn't learn them from me, I will sleep well.
An interesting experiment comes to mind, the conclusion of this was; swearing lessens pain: http://www.keele.ac.uk/pressreleases/2011/swearingrelievespainbutdontoverdoit.php
Basically if your child hits their thumb with a hammer, it's ok to swear.
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